Day 4

Well today has been odd to say the least.

I spent a little time with my other half last night and he slept most of today (due to working nights tonight) we cuddled and hugged but mainly slept. I felt happy to be with him but little voices of doubt just keep creeping into my mind. Not doubt insecurities really. To top it off I had such a bad nightmare last night I woke up feeling so down and started crying. I won’t go into the nightmare but it was to do with my not being good enough.

As the day progressed I haven’t been feeling too bad. I am trying my hardest. Taking it a step at a time. Try to stop these voices in my head.

I know what my problem is. I think too much. I over analyse over think over exaggerate. My head could write a very fanciful novel I suspect sometimes! My main problem as mentioned before is that I do not have anything to do! I try reading, knitting even baking and still no good! Still I shall keep trying. I will beat these thoughts 🙂

As for the 30 day shred. It was a struggle I had to stop a few times today due to a pain in my side, but I soldiered on 🙂 which I am very proud of 😀

Tomorrow I am meeting some friends so I don’t know if I can get on here. I shall try and keep you all updated.

Though seeing my friends will be a great boost for me. I am my worst enemy!

That will change. 

Questioning?

Lately I have been not happy.

I am happy to be leaving work, have a wonderful supportive boyfriend, great friends, roof over my head and to be starting Uni in less than 2 months.

Yet still. I am not happy. While I right this I am annoyed at myself that I am not happy due to the fact I am so lucky in life. 

To say I am happy with how I am would be a lie. The 5:2 diet is wonderful I love it but it is not making me happy. For some reason I thought it would.

I am starting to question everything in my life. My eating habits, my style, hair, face, body and my personality. It is shocking how unhappy I am with…. well with me.

I am really looking forward to to having a few weeks off. So I can re-connect with myself.

I will keep everyone posted.

🙂

4th fast day completed

I am in complete shock! It just shows you how your body can adapt 🙂

I have almost completed my 4th day 🙂 I don’t see any difference in my looks (although I have over indulged that last two weeks on my non fast days so I cannot be surprised really!) but as people have said it is true I feel lighter! I am not going to pretend I have not felt hungry or daydreamed about a nice chocolate chips cookie because I have but I have survived and I am happier for it.

I am hoping within the next few weeks my non fast days will get better as I become more focused. But the fast days are easier which are a god send. I am really enjoying it 😉 and recommending it to everyone. Some people think I am mad but I have never been one to listen to other peoples opinions which I think is important if you are to keep focused 🙂

So here is to a new lease of life! Hopefully for good!

Wish me even more luck!

 

 

Update on make my life a happier one!

Well I must say it has been a interesting week! I have told my work I will be leaving and I was surprised by my managing directors’s and everyone else’s reaction. Everyone was really please for me 🙂 which was wonderful and also worried about who is going to fill my boots! But what I liked the most is my managing director said I can come back part time at any point which is always lovely to hear! So a weight is lifted off my shoulders.

Secondly my new activities including listening to my subliminal message CD, knitting and revising for my theory are going wonderfully well! It is actually the reason I have neglected you all a bit sorry! But as I have paid £31! yes £31 for this bloody theory I need to revise as much as I can and I am getting better so fingers and toes crossed for me.

Right the CD I think is going to be a slow process which is understandable. I think it is working but very gradually. We will see in the coming weeks if it is just me thinking its working or it actually is! I will keep you all posted 🙂

As for my knitting well pictures will come soon enough as I am nearly finished 🙂

All in all I think I am getting there. I have a lot more to realise and to give but it all comes in time right?

Once my theory is over and done with I will be writing more blogs regarding joys of my life that I think everyone should take a look into aswell as myself as I have lacked in the ‘making myself happy’ department lately.

So just watch this space….. as everyone seems to say!